Advice · 6 min
Dating when you are trans or non-binary
Kindered treats your gender as you name it. What we store, what other people see, and how to set boundaries without writing an essay.
On Kindered a trans woman is a woman. Gender is how you identify. We do not have a separate “trans woman” option in matching, because that would make trans status a filter instead of your choice.
Whether you are trans is optional and hidden unless you turn visibility on. We will not auto-label you. Outing someone is a safety risk and, in Europe, unlawful processing of sensitive data. We designed the database that way on purpose.
You can put pronouns on the profile. You do not owe a medical history in the bio. “She/her, looking for something serious” is a complete introduction.
If someone asks invasive questions in the first messages, you can decline or unmatch. Curiosity is not a right to your body. Kindered’s report reasons include harassment and hate.
Safety looks different if you are not fully out. Use photos you are comfortable being recognised from. Meet in public. Tell someone you trust. Discreet does not mean isolated.
You will still meet people who are clumsy or unkind. That is not a reason to hide; it is a reason we moderate. Use block freely. You do not have to educate every match.
If Kindered ever fails you on this — a deadname in the UI, a leak, a report ignored — that is a product bug. Write to us. This is supposed to be the app that does not treat you as an afterthought.
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